If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
