think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
