she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
