Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
