I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
