I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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