Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I will be naked everywhere
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
