awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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