but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
