omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
