have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
