I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
