Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
