I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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