wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
