I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
