he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize