come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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