she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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