I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
