You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
