if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
