Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
