R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
