oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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