I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
