I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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