Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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