therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
