My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
