doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
