marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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