Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
