My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize