3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
