AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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