He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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