no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize