I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Randomize
