lets start a swedish sibling band together
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
