I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you pee in the oven last night??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize