People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
