the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
