He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
