He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you didnt know i had herpes?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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