Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
