he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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