There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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