i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My feet surprised me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
