His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
