too bad you live with your parents still
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I die, sorry about rent.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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