shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she peed on how many people?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
