No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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