we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
