Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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