i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
